Looking back, looking forward

Tomorrow I am 24 weeks/6 months pregnant.

I cannot believe I've got this far! It feels like yesterday that I was looking at the two lines on the six pregnancy tests (yes 6, I just couldn't believe it), and now here I am at 6 months pregnant!

Whilst I can't say I've loved every minute of being pregnant, it really has been the most amazing experience and I'm excited about the third trimester and feeling baby A kick more and more.

The other day Die Hard 4 was on and she kicked like crazy. Guess she has a thing for the bald headed hard man like her ma.

So little A, stay warm and safe. We are super impatient to meet you and excited it won't be too much longer!

An emotional day

I've always been pretty emotional so it's kind of a relief to have an excuse for it all now. But no one really tells you just how isolating being pregnant can be.

I am delighted to be pregnant (well, to be having a baby), even though baby A wasn't planned. Once the shock wore off I was and still am really excited. But there's so much you're unprepared for and no matter how much support you have (can't complain, lots of lovely family), at the end of the day, it kind of feels obvious that this is your job to do and no one elses.

I work from home as well, so a lot of time is spent alone and boyfriend M does shift work and is out a lot. So there's a lot of time to brood and think how much my life's going to change. Because although M is going to be a papa, it's me who'll be at home all day with the baby trying to work and be a good mum. And there's kind of no way around it. He earns more than me, and I want to breast feed so it makes way more sense for me to stay at home.

I don't feel ready to leave my old life behind, and I know I'll always have my core best friends. But I feel like I need to start carving out a new path, meet other mums to be. Not really my bag though. I never wanted to be one of those women who sat around and talked about stretch marks and cravings. But I do want someone to share it with, who knows what it feels like, and none of my best friends have had babies yet.

Any advice would be much appreciated! Did you feel lonely when you were pregnant? What did you do about it?

First post - 22 weeks

So, first post, who knows where this journey's going to take me.

I actually write another couple of blogs but have decided for the moment to keep this one anonymous, mainly so I can be more honest and write without worrying who I know who might be reading.

The beauty of the internet - like an online diary that's both private and as exposed as it possible could be - truly the weirdest concept.

I'm currently 22 weeks and 5 days and feeling baby A ( we have a name but like everything for now I'm going to keep it quiet!) kick quite a bit now. At my 20 week scan she was breech so most of the kicks I was feeling really low, but I think she's moved a bit as they seem to be everywhere now.

I'm trying to pinpoint when the first kicks were but for a good few weeks it's hard to tell when it's your first baby so I don't really know for sure. Around 19 weeks I think. Thing is, now I want to feel her all the time, just to know she's still there. I wish I hadn't read stories of women not feeling their babies kick and going to the hospital to find the baby has died. I swear this is my biggest fear, the birth seems easy in comparison to the fear!

I have so much to say about the first 22 weeks but I'm not going to try to cram it all in one post I don't think, otherwise we'll be here for ever.

Worst thing about pregnancy at the moment - the mucus at the back of my throat that makes my gag sometimes ( I hate being sick so this is a big deal for me).

Best thing - seeing my bump grow pretty much day by day.