I've always been pretty emotional so it's kind of a relief to have an excuse for it all now. But no one really tells you just how isolating being pregnant can be.
I am delighted to be pregnant (well, to be having a baby), even though baby A wasn't planned. Once the shock wore off I was and still am really excited. But there's so much you're unprepared for and no matter how much support you have (can't complain, lots of lovely family), at the end of the day, it kind of feels obvious that this is your job to do and no one elses.
I work from home as well, so a lot of time is spent alone and boyfriend M does shift work and is out a lot. So there's a lot of time to brood and think how much my life's going to change. Because although M is going to be a papa, it's me who'll be at home all day with the baby trying to work and be a good mum. And there's kind of no way around it. He earns more than me, and I want to breast feed so it makes way more sense for me to stay at home.
I don't feel ready to leave my old life behind, and I know I'll always have my core best friends. But I feel like I need to start carving out a new path, meet other mums to be. Not really my bag though. I never wanted to be one of those women who sat around and talked about stretch marks and cravings. But I do want someone to share it with, who knows what it feels like, and none of my best friends have had babies yet.
Any advice would be much appreciated! Did you feel lonely when you were pregnant? What did you do about it?
I felt exactly the same as you, especially as I had just left uni and none of my friends were having babies either, especially at 23-25. I also moved to a new city where I didn't really know anyone and my family and friends all lived far away. I also knew I had tendencies to be shy and get lonely easily so I knew I really had to do something about it.
ReplyDeleteI found an ante natal swimming class and went to pregnancy yoga which helped meet people. My closest mum friend still is one I met at swimming. It was really good to get out and force myself to talk to other pregnant ladies and do exercise at the same time. It's like this whole new world that opens up to you, and i like you wasnt one to sit around talking about all things 'womanly' but when you talk to people who are going through the same thing as you it really helps! I've met people from all different situations and ages, an if we didn't have the commen interest of babies then we would have never of met or been friends, and I like that. Having a baby can totally broaden your friendship group and is really interesting! It doesn't all have to be yummy mummy territory!
I know what you mean about it being isolating. I live in a different town to all my friends at the moment, and my husband is away three nights a week every week for work. I was used to be on my own before I got pregnant but for the past few weeks I have realised I am quite lonely. We are hoping to move back to London whilst I am on maternity leave, so hoping to join an antenatal class or something to meet other people/mums. Where to start though?
ReplyDeleteDown here, all the events are during the day, whilst I am at work...